The Wedding SOP

Name one coordinator for the couple at the first visit, with a direct number and a deputy for days off. Every question from the couple reaches that person, and only that person answers it.

“Thank you both for coming to see us. I am Giulia, and I will look after your wedding from today to the day after.”

Ask how each person would like to be addressed, how their names are spelled, and the names of the families. Never assume the couple’s genders, religion or traditions from a name or a booking.

“Before we look at the rooms, may I ask how you imagine the day, and which traditions matter to you and your families?”

Ask what kind of ceremony it is (civil, religious, symbolic or none on site), who leads it, and any rite, music, food or timing it requires. Write each answer in the couple’s words. A civil ceremony on site is legally valid only where the town hall has registered the hotel as a place for civil weddings; confirm it before the date is agreed.

Ask which family moments matter most: a parent’s speech, a grandparent who needs a seat near the door, a photograph with everyone, a moment the couple want to keep private.

Ask privately, never in front of the families, whether anything in the families needs care: separated parents, a guest who should not be seated near another, a recent loss.

“Is there anything about the seating or the families you would like us to know quietly? It stays with me and the banquet captain.”

Write a first timeline after the visit, from the couple’s arrival to the last dance, and send it within 48 hours. Nothing is agreed until it is in the timeline the couple sign.

Keep one supplier list with each supplier’s name, contact on the day, arrival time, set-up area, power needs and meal: florist, photographer, music, officiant, cake, hair and make-up, transport.

Ask the couple for allergies and dietary needs by guest name, with the seat, and pass them to the chef as The Allergy SOP sets out. Ask about children and guests with access needs as well.

Send the supplier timeline to every supplier 7 days before, and ask each to confirm by reply within 48 hours. A supplier who has not confirmed gets a call from the coordinator. The same day, share it with every department, each with the minutes that concern them.

“Good morning, Paolo. I have sent the timeline for Saturday. Could you confirm the band’s arrival at 15:00 by Thursday? Thank you.”

Agree the rain plan and the noise curfew with the couple in writing, with the hour each decision is taken. The curfew stays within the limits of the hotel’s licence and the town’s rules; music beyond them needs the permit the town hall issues.

Confirm in writing who holds the music licence for the day, the couple, the band or the hotel, and keep a copy in the couple’s file before the music is booked.

Fireworks, sparklers, cake fountains and open flames are agreed with the hotel in writing, used only with the permits the law requires and by a licensed operator, and never on an escape route or near drapes.

Every change the couple ask for after signing is written, re-sent to them and to every supplier it affects, and initialled by the couple. A promise made only in words is a promise nobody will keep.

Hold the final meeting with the couple 48 hours before, with the banquet captain and, when the menu has changed, the chef. Read the timeline line by line, from the first call to the last dance.

Confirm the final numbers, the seating plan, every allergy by seat, the order and names of the speakers, the music cues and who carries the rings or tokens, if any.

“To make sure I have it right: three speeches after the main course, your father first, then Karim, then you both. Is that right?”

Give the couple the final menu with every allergen listed by dish, so any guest can read it before they are served.

Agree who the coordinator calls on the day for any decision, so the couple are not asked: one family member or friend, by name and number.

Collect everything the couple bring (place cards, favours, the guest book, decorations), count it with them, and sign a list of what the hotel now holds.

Hold the rehearsal in the ceremony space, at the hour of the ceremony when possible, with the officiant, the couple and everyone who walks, reads or speaks.

Walk the entrance, the ceremony and the exit with the music. Read each timing aloud, and agree the signal that starts each moment.

“When the music changes, Ms Haddad, Mr Novak, that is your moment. I will be at the door, and nothing starts until you are ready.”

Show the families where they will sit, where the toilets and the quiet room are, and where the coordinator will be all day.

After the rehearsal, brief the team on what changed and re-send the timeline the same evening. Thank the couple and give them the time of your first call tomorrow.

Check yourself and the team against The Presence SOP before the first supplier arrives. The coordinator wears the timeline, the supplier list and the couple’s contact sheet.

Call the couple at the agreed time, once, with what is ready. From this call onwards, every supplier and family question comes to the coordinator.

“Good morning, Ms Haddad. Breakfast is on its way, hair and make-up arrive at 10:00, and the ceremony room is set. I will see you at 15:30.”

Meet each supplier at the agreed time and place, check what they brought against the list, and show them their meal and rest area. Late suppliers are called at 10 minutes, never left to the couple.

Walk the ceremony space 30 minutes before: chairs counted, reserved seats marked for the families, music tested, water for the officiant, rings or tokens with the person agreed.

Seat the guests, the families last, and tell the couple only when everything is ready. The ceremony starts on the couple’s signal, never on the clock alone.

Open the aperitivo with a drink in every guest’s hand as they arrive, a non-alcoholic choice on every tray, and a seat for older guests within sight of the couple. No alcohol is served to anyone under 18, or under the local legal age; when in doubt, the bartender asks, courteously, for an ID.

Give the photographer the list of family photographs agreed with the couple, and gather each group yourself, so the couple are not sent looking for anyone.

“Mrs Novak, may I accompany you to the terrace? The photographer is ready for the family photograph.”

Call the guests to dinner on the timeline, and seat the families and guests with access needs first. Allergy plates are served by seat, as The Allergy SOP sets out.

Serve the couple first, then the families, then the room. The banquet captain watches the couple’s table all evening: glasses, water, a plate kept if they were away for photographs.

Feed the suppliers at the agreed hour, in the agreed place, so the music and the photographer are back before the speeches.

Before each speech, stop service and clearing in the room, check the microphone, and tell each speaker they are next. No plate or glass moves during a speech.

“Karim, you are next, after Mr Haddad. The microphone is here when you are ready. Thank you.”

Brief the team before the cake in one sentence each: who brings the knife and plates, who dims the lights, who cues the music.

“Luca, could you bring the cake knife to the table at 22:10? The couple cut it right after the speeches. Thank you.”

Start the first dance, or the moment the couple chose in its place, only on the couple’s signal. Lights, music and photographer are ready before you ask the couple.

In the late night, the bar follows The Responsible Service SOP and The Low and No SOP. The duty manager watches the noise curfew agreed in writing and tells the coordinator 30 minutes before it.

Before the last dance, arrange taxis and transfers, check in-house guests are on their way to their rooms, and gather the couple’s belongings, gifts and cards in one locked place.

If a guest is unwell, the coordinator calls the duty manager at once and follows The Doctor on Call SOP. The couple are told only when the guest is cared for, and only what they need to know.

Gather the gifts, cards, guest book, decorations and leftover cake by 09:00. The cake has been kept refrigerated overnight and labelled with the date and its allergens. Check everything against the signed list and return it to the couple by 12:00, or keep it locked until they ask.

Any item found after the wedding follows The Lost Property SOP and The Belongings SOP, with the couple told the same day.

“Good morning, Ms Haddad. Your cards, the guest book and the top tier of the cake are ready for you. Shall I bring them to your suite, or keep them for your departure?”

Thank every supplier by message the same day, and the team at the next line-up, naming one moment each person made possible.

The hotel uses no photograph of the wedding without the couple’s written consent, and that of any guest who can be recognised.

Call the couple within 3 days to thank them and ask how the day felt. Write what to repeat and what to change in the wedding file.

“Thank you both for choosing to celebrate with us. How did the day feel for you and your families?”